


Artistic Curse

by ewya_barnes1114



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 13:46:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13525533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ewya_barnes1114/pseuds/ewya_barnes1114
Summary: Imagine you’re an artist/sculptor for Asgard and you’re hurrying one day and drop a sketchpad. Loki picks it up and looks through it, finding the typical stuff. As he flips through the pages he finds drawings of him in various places. sleeping, sitting in the great hall, etc and the last page is of him naked. He waits until everyone goes to bed that night before confronting you.





	1. Chapter 1

One hard step too many caused one of my sketchbooks to fall to the floor. Mumbling an “Excuse me”, I shouldered past two soldiers walking down the hallway, the walls screaming with their every step. Damned if it didn’t give me a headache every day. I was running late for a sculpting appointment with Odin and he did not take kindly to tardiness. My heart thundered in her ears, willing my feet to fly faster to make it on time.

Realizing too late I was headed for the floor, I put my hands out in front of me to block the hit as much as possible. My right side hit the floor, my shoulder taking the brunt of the impact. The bag of sketchbooks flipped end over end in the air, as if in slow motion, and real-time hit the ground and spilled out in every direction. Tomato faced, I winced as you rose to my knees, using my arm to throw my long hair back where it belonged (I’d been so engrossed in my drawing that morning I hadn’t bothered putting it in a braid), all the while keeping my head down. I couldn’t bear to make eye contact with anyone after such a clumsy act.

A guard coming around the corner had seen my fall and offered his assistance.

“Lady Resaejin, are you alright?” Came the low, robust voice.

I saw the extended hand before I looked up, the screeching of the metal armor announcing its arrival.

Turning even more tomato colored, I took the offered hand.

“Yes, I’m alright. I’m running late for my appointment with the AllFather and fell over my own two feet.” I said, giving an awkward chuckle.

As I brushed herself off, albeit the pain in my shoulder, someone caught the corner of my eye. I turned her head to see Loki casually leaning against the pillar, examining his nails, his leg still sticking out where I had just been walking.

He gave a smirk that I wanted to smack off of his face. “You really should be more careful.” I hadn’t fallen down due to clumsiness. The bastard had tripped me for his own amusement, seeing that I were in a rush. Fighting back tears, I gathered up the strewn sketchbooks, turning down the guard’s offer to walk me the rest of the way and directed an expletive in his direction before turning and hurrying once again towards Odin’s throne room. I heard him laugh behind you, a sound that seemed to surpass the cacophony of soldier boots to make a direct hit in my ears and send a chill down my spine.

As I turned around the corner out of his sight, Loki moved away from the pillar, a peculiar looking book catching his attention. He picked it up and scoffed. In big, bold, capital letters were the words “KEEP OUT!”

He resumed his position against the pillar thumbing through the sketchbook, each page detailing an exquisite drawing for a painting or a sculpture; many of the images already a reality. There was a drawing of the ocean next to the Rainbow Bridge. It was so realistic, one could expect their fingers to be wet after touching it. Flowers, parts of the kingdom, Slepinir. He noticed the difference in the level of detail when she drew animals. The other drawings were done well, but there was a different feel to this one. He was growing bored of looking at it when one last drawing drew renewed interest. This drawing was of…him? Sitting on the balcony, looking out into the distance. He tried to find any imperfection he could so that when he returned the book, he could make a snide comment. It annoyed him that he couldn’t find a single flaw. With fervor, he continued flipping through. She had exercised great detail and time with his eyes, almost so that it felt like he was looking into his own soul. The drawings were black and white, save for the perfect combination of blue and green color of his eyes. Yet another of him standing with his brother in the throne room. And still another of him speaking with his mother the Queen.

It was extremely unnerving to him that he hadn’t felt her presence or noticed her in the distance. Then again, he told himself, she wasn’t worth noticing in the first place. As he got to the last page, he nearly dropped the book, the movement kicking him from his relaxed pose against the pillar into a full standing position, trying to maintain his composure and not have his eyes bug out of his head. He did not shake easily, but seeing a perfectly detailed drawing of him in full nude that he couldn’t begin to fathom how she was able to sneak in to draw with the amount time it would’ve taken, was foundation-shattering for as hyper-aware as he was. Every line, every muscle, every eyelash was drawn to exact detail with great skill and care. As he marveled over the drawing, his eyes trailed down the perfectly drawn abdomen, including the deep V-lines he had leading to his cock, expecting to see that drawn correctly as well.. Sadly, the night she had drawn it a sheet was loosely covering that part of himself. Whether she was exhibiting an artistic license to add the sheet or if that was truly how she drew it from life, he didn’t know. She had drawn its presence in the sheets, however. The bulge had been accentuated by the silk that draped around it, outlining each and every last vein in what looked like a growing hard on. He closed his eyes, envisioning her working on the details alone in her room. He saw her biting her lip as she closed her eyes, wondering what he tasted like wrapped around her lips. Legs crossing to try and stay away the lust she felt looking at him. His eyes opened slowly, a ragged breath escaping his lips. Looking up from the page, he scanned the area before backing away slowly, a dark grin working its way across his mouth.

It had been so long since the last game of cat and mouse…


	2. Chapter 2

I skidded to a stop in front of the throne room doors. Bending over, my hands gripped my thighs as I tried to catch my breath. The bag of sketchbooks slid off my back, smacking me in the side. I stood up, trying to compose myself the best I could, catching a guard’s eye who gave me a quizzical look before opening the doors. Making an attempt to smooth my hair with my fingers, I dropped them to my sides the second Frigga caught sight of me.

“Resa! Come in, come in!”

She strode gracefully towards me, her dress billowing around her. As she drew closer, her expression changed to one of concern. Her fingers brushed aside the hair on my forehead, revealing what I assumed was probably a bruise or a red mark. Her eyes shifted to my shoulder where a large bruise had formed just above the sleeve and up my collarbone.

“What happened?”

She shifted her eyes worriedly from my head to my arm and back. I hadn’t realized I had hit my head, the pain in my shoulder had distracted from all other sensations. I rubbed the back of my neck, wondering how I should phrase it. Just as I was about to speak, I heard a voice in my head.

“Yes, tell them how I was a big meany and tripped you.”

I turned my head only slightly so I wouldn’t draw Frigga’s attention to see Loki leaning against the doorway. hands crossed across his chest with his legs mimicking the action, knee resting on the frame. Clenching my jaw, I ticked my head up in defiance. His taunting laughter echoed inside my skull. I put on the sweetest face I could, making eye contact with Frigga when she looked at me.

“I was worried I would be late for our meeting and in an act of clumsy grace, tripped and fell in the hallway on the way here.” I finished with an awkward smile.

She gave the wounds another once over and said, “You must take great caution, Resa.”

“Yes, my Queen.”

She took my hand in hers, walking me into the throne room. I wanted to turn back to see if Loki was still standing in the doorway, but I didn’t want to give him that satisfaction. The AllFather turned from his watchful gaze out the window as we approached. I bowed, my hair tumbling from my shoulders, hanging heavily in the air.

“AllFather, to what do I owe the honor of an audience with you?”

“Rise, child.”

I did as he asked, meeting his no-nonense gaze, trying hard to hold my surprise when his features softened. I watched his eyes move from my head to my arm and then seemingly through me as he looked to I’d seen Loki. A small smile formed on his lips as I realized internally with horror that he knew the truth. He had heard Frigga and I talking; that I was sure of. Why did I think my cover would fool the AllFather?

“In truth, I had requested your presence to commission another piece. You’ve beautifully envisioned each and every one of them with exquisite detail and care. However, in light of recent events, I have decided instead to hold a feast in your honor, showcasing your latest masterpiece.”

He gestured to the Tree of Yggdrasil that I had caved into the doors of the throne room.

“Also,” He moved over to a pillar that held a gorgeous head piece adorned with two golden leafs with the ends touching in the back, flanking the tree of Yggdrasil. Odin picked up the head piece, studying it carefully. He looked sideways at me then to Frigga, who smiled brilliantly. The AllFather began to speak again as he walked over to me.

“To celebrate your rise to Asynjur.”

I instantly bowed, awaiting no instruction as he placed the ornate piece on my head. I watched for the AllFather’s legs to move from my light of sight before I stood up. The piece sat heavy on my head, a large striking emerald gem resting in the center of my forehead.

“For your perseverance, commitment and upholding the standards of Asgard, Resajin Brynjardottir, it is my honor to welcome you to the Aesir.” I caught Frigga out of the corner of my eye, hands steeped around her nose, her face contorted into an expression of elation.

I was just proclaimed a goddess by the AllFather. I bowed again, expressing my heartfelt thanks for the AllFather’s most generous gift. I was nearly floored when Odin bowed slightly back at me. As I rose, Frigga approached me, cupping my face in her hands, unshed tears in her eyes.

“Your mother would be so proud of you. “

She hugged me and moved back next to Odin and I swore I had never seen two people look at me with such pride. Why did I feel so unworthy? It was such a huge endowment for something so trivial. I say trivial because in part, Odin was not referring to just my works of art regarding perseverance. My mother had died valiantly in battle, achieving entrance to Valhalla. I was the royal artist and I stood up to Prince Loki. I didn’t have any fighting skills or any skills out of the ordinary for a typical Asgardian. How is that worthy of having a feast in my honor, let alone the title of goddess? I wanted to say as much, but I feared doing so would anger the AllFather, thinking I was refuting his gift.

“Is there anything you would need of me, AllFather?”

“No, my child. You are excused.”

I bowed once more to the both of them before making my retreat, the guard at the door bowing as I walked through. I offered the same courtesy.

Odin and Frigga waited until I was around the corner and out of ear shot before talking amongst themselves.

“She is troubled.” Odin said plainly.

“I’m afraid you’re right.” Frigga agreed.

By the time I got back to my chambers, I was exhausted, the adrenaline running out from the day. I laid down on my bed, taking off the head piece to stare at it, tracing the ornamented design gently. I laid it down gently next to me with a sigh. Closing my eyes, intending to just rest them, sleep overcame me quickly.

“Look at you. All chummy with Mummy and Daddy. Too bad they don’t know how you really are. I guess they’re just giving the title away now.”

I shot straight up, breathing heavily, scaring the housemaid who had tried to wake me. I took me a second to calm down enough to focus on her frightened face, her hand on her chest in effort to calm her racing heart.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

I blinked a few times to get the spots out of my eyes from waking up so suddenly before resting my eyes on my attire for the evening. A pretty, simple emerald green dress was laid out. It was floor length, the shoulders open in a triangular design of the fabric. Beads formed an intricate design in the middle with tendrils hanging down. The same design graced both angled sleeves. My head piece sat atop a pillar, coupled with long emerald green and gold earrings, emerald green and gold wrist cuffs with matching flats. I got up to get changed, the housemaid handing me a towel.

“I’ve drawn a bath for you Lady Resajin.”

“Oh, you are heaven incarnate, Reith. Thank you.”

She bowed and turned to leave so I could bathe in peace. I disrobed when I heard the door click shut, stepping into the hot water. I closed my eyes, sighing in relief and relaxation as the heat of the water seeped into my muscles.

‘Resa, Resa, Resa. What ever are we going to do about this…”

A hand skimming up and down a large, thick shaft accosted the darkness behind my eyes, the head disappearing in the crook of the soft appendage. The maneuver was slow, erotic and deliberate.

The night I had drawn Loki asleep in the nude rushed into my head with an addition from how I remembered it: a vision of me crawling towards him, pulling the sheet from around the engorged, throbbing flesh. Wrapping my hand around him, holding it erect in the air, I flattened my tongue, starting from the base to tip before wrapping my lips around his thickness.

A moan pierced the night, followed by my name being said in a way that sent instant heat between my legs.

“Reese…”

The erotic play ended, a laugh echoing on its coattails. I opened my eyes to see my fingers between my legs, the digits weighing heavily inside me. The other hand grasping my breast, fingers pinching the nipples into erect peaks. Where in the world had that come from?

I withdrew my fingers, a small moan escaping my lips at the lack of contact, my lips swollen and pulsing with need. I stepped out of the bath, my knees weak as the voice lingered in my head. Goddamn it was hot hearing my name said like that, but something felt off. No one in the kingdom had ever called me Reese. How could I envision Loki calling me that? And I was watching this happen, not experiencing it first-hand through my own body. I splashed cold water on my face to try and calm the residual heat so I could think. It felt so real. I shook my head violently, trying to shake the auto-replay of him saying my name out of my head.

I got dressed quickly, trying my best to ignore the pulsing between my legs. I looked in the mirror at the finished product. The green and gold of the dress, accessories, makeup and the head piece complimented me nicely, but the colors reminded me of him. “Why don’t you just serve yourself to Loki on a silver platter right now.” I said to the empty room, putting on my best regal face before walking out of the room to meet the guard who was to walk me to the event.

Frigga met me at the doors, extending her hand to take mine.

“Oh, Resa! You look beautiful!” I blushed and said thank you. Frigga led me to where Odin stood atop the upper level of the hall. He turned to face me, a proud smile lightening his features. My heart dropped into my stomach at the amount of people standing before us, as Odin bestowed upon me my new title for the second time that day. The hall erupted into cheers, a sound that seemed to rattle the walls. It was unnerving having this much attention. I was thinking it was going to be the immediate cabinet, the Warriors Three, and Lady Sif, among others. No. Odin and Frigga had invited the entire city.

As the cheers died down and the sounds of the feast began, I was greeted by Thor, the Warriors Three and Lady Sif, each of them congratulating me on my new title. I made the mistake of looking past Thor to see Loki. My heart skipped a beat, an instant blush creeping onto my cheeks as he was next to approach me. He hand slid into mine sideways, bending the four fingers at the knuckle, angling the top of my hand towards his lips as he bowed. When he rose, he kissed the top of my hand, never breaking eye contact. My heart hammered in my chest, his wolfish grin relieving the daydream. He let my hand go after what felt like ages, bowing to his mother and father before walking past us.

Once things had started to die down and the attention was off of me, I quietly withdrew myself. Asgard parties were legendary in that they would go on long into the night. I was thankful that my room was far enough away that the noise would not keep me up.

I got back to my chambers, dressing into a while sheen nightgown. I rubbed my neck to get some of the tension from receiving so many back slaps from Thor and to get Loki’s “peel-your-clothes-off-with-my-teeth” grin out of my head. As I rounded my neck to find more kinks to work out, a sudden urgency to check my bag struck me.

I immediately grabbed my bag and began feverishly looking through it, growing more alarmed by the second. The moment I realized a particular sketchbook was missing, a loud thud behind me made me jump out of my skin. It took everything I had to keep my eyes from flying to the door as my skin crawled and stood at panicked attention. I would take Thor awkwardly returning the book that had nude drawings of his brother in it, telling me to keep it safe so Loki wouldn’t see it. I would take Frigga giving me a disapproving stare. Hell, I would take Odin himself giving me the glare of death and a revoke of my title. Anyone, literally anyone else I would take over the one person who was standing in the doorway right now.

I finally worked up the courage to turn and face the door, holding onto a shred of hope that it wasn’t him. That hope died the second the strangled sob flew from my throat.


	3. Chapter 3

His name rushed from my lips on a breath of air I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. There he was in all his maddeningly cocky swagger, leaning against the frame, arms across his chest. I steeled myself to match wits with the God of Mischief after a quick glance at the floor revealed my sketchbook open to the nude drawing of him

I shook my head to get a grip.

“It’s called knocking and what is it with you leaning against everything?” I said sardonically

He smirked, moving into a standing position. Crossing his arms behind his back, he chuckled lightly as he looked down to his feet, shaking his head. In one fluid motion, he lifted his head, angling it high and to the side, eyes focused on the wall, his mouth slightly open.

I knew he knew what I was doing but that didn’t mean I was going to stop playing the game.

His eyes shuffled to me before his head turned.

“I think I know a better use.”

A projection of Loki lifting me up by my hips, pinning me to the wall, head buried in my neck as his shaft filled me at the same time adorned its surface. My mouth went dry as I tried to swallow the large lump that had formed in my throat. He watched me like a hawk, citing every breath, every muscle flex, every sign he could to see his window of opportunity at the second of my unraveling.

It was him that had been the voice in my head. It was him that had placed that lucid daydream on display. It annoyed me that he was able to slip into my consciousness so easily.

“Do you need something?” I asked shortly.

Stepping into the doorway, he closed the door behind him. I swallowed tightly when I heard the click of the lock. The room felt encompassed by him, choking off everywhere I could run with him blocking the only exit.

“Please, come in.” I said sarcastically.

Closing the gap between himself and the sketchbook, he picked it up gingerly with both hands, looking from me to the sketchbook and back.

“How did you do it?” He asked, after closing the sketchbook with an audible clap.

I shrugged nonchalantly. “A mouse has to know where to find the cheese.”

“How fitting as it seems we’re in a proverbial game of cat and mouse.’

“No we’re not in a game of anything. You are going to drop the sketchbook and leave.” I stated pointedly as I pointed to the door.

I caught a slight hint of annoyance. He obviously wasn’t used to women refusing his charm.

“What? Did you think you’d get inside my head, put on your erotic play and I’d melt at your feet?”

He shrugged his shoulders.

“I assumed every woman did. After all, isn’t that what you were made for?”

He was goading me, but I wasn’t taking the bait.

“You’re an entitled ass.”

He chuckled darkly, tossing the sketchbook onto the bed before advancing on me.

“I saw you. Your lip between your teeth, your legs crossed as you tried to chase away the growing heat between them as you watched me lying there. Your hand on your breast, caressing your nipple into a taut peak while your fingers tried to give you a sense of relief, wishing it was my cock inside of you.. The blush on your cheeks as you thought, ‘Maybe just one peek’.”

The way he had described everything in detail that I had felt was unnerving. He couldn’t possibly know that having just discovered my sketchbook. I hit the wall, Loki’s hands beside my head, our noses almost touching.

“Tell me I’m wrong.”

He dipped down as his hand cupped my jaw, kissing my neck. I barely held onto his name coming out in a moan when the incident from this morning slapped me back to reality. I slid down the wall and ducked under his outstretched arm.

“You’re wrong. Now get out!”

He turned, a smile on his lips that formed into a laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

He finished laughing, clapping his hands together,

“Oh, what fun! I’ve not been this entertained in a while!”

“This is your idea of entertainment? Tripping me in the hallway, taking my sketchbook, weaseling your way into my head with insults and depraved images? Expecting to have you way with me figuring I’d be like all the others.”

As I spoke, I moved back towards a hidden panel in my wall, feeling for the sword tucked safely away. Odin had given it to me from his personal collection in exchange for one of the pieces he had commissioned. As soon as my hand touched the hilt, I made my move, stopping Loki’s advance by the tip of the sword.

“I’ve got new for you…”

He looked to the sword and back at me with an expression that said, “Really?” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement, realizing almost a moment too late that the Loki standing in front of me was an illusion. Thinking quickly, I stuck my leg out, the real Loki tripping over it and falling face first to the floor, his cloak coming up to cover his head.

He turned over, an astonished look on his face, rubbing his jaw. Hovering over him, the sword lingering near his face, I said “Karma’s a bitch.”

In a split second, he hit the sword out of my hands, the noise of it crashing to the floor distracting me. He grabbed my hand and yanked it behind and up into the middle of my back, his long fingers snaking across my throat, index finger resting in the center.

“Let me make something very clear,” his lips on my ear made me shiver, feeling his hand slightly tighten around my neck his pinky finger stroking the hollow of my throat.

“I always get what I want and you…”

I jerked when I felt his erection pressing into my back.

“Are no exception, mouse.”

I moved to hit him off me with my free hand , only to find the room empty. He disembodied voice chortled before he said, “Until next time…Reese…”

The provocative way my name rolled off his tongue had me fisting my hands and closing my eyes to fight for control. I walked over to my sword, picking it up and silently cursing myself. I could bluff and match his wits until I was blue in the face but if Loki saying my name was all it took to nearly bring me to my knees in submission, I was in trouble…


	4. Chapter 4

_“Look at you…my new favorite toy…What a mess you’ve gotten yourself into.”_

“Get out of my head!” I said, clapping my hands to the sides of my head. The sound of my voice bounced off the broken furniture strewn across the room. Loki had made my life a living hell after that night. I’d been doing fairly well blocking him out, but each time he tried he grew smarter and figured out ways around it. This particular day, Loki weaseled his way around every blockade, seeping into every crack left unfortified. He’d managed to chip away at my defenses until there was nothing left.

This particular day…was just a bad day. In a fit of rage, I’d destroyed everything in my room. I’d ripped out all of the drawings I’d done of Loki and threw them into the fire, watching them burn and crinkle. Sure, I’d gotten rid of the evidence, but not him.

I knew I was playing with fire (pun not intended) by sneaking into his room and drawing him but never in my wildest dreams did I forsee the God of Mischief in an act of random chance, finding the one and only sketchbook with his drawings in it.

I’d had enough and just couldn’t take it anymore. I’d had enough of the tauntings, the teasings, the countless times I’d been woken up by touchless orgasms. Tired of trying to get work done and having paints tip dangerously close to spilling or my brushes and paints being strewn across the halls.If I had to submit to get this to stop, I would submit.

I picked up an easel with a half finished painting, making the mistake of glancing at the face staring solemnly back at me. I held my mother’s gaze for what felt like hours before dropping to the floor in a fit of tears, the easel clattering beside me.

I let everything out until there was nothing left, leaving me curled up on the floor, my legs bent halfway up, arms crossed at the biceps, staring at the burning out fire.

Reith walked in on the scene, dropping the tray she held, yelling to the guard to get the Queen. Loki appeared in the doorway, his eyes widening as he got a good look at me. I stared straight at him as I rose to my knees, closing my eyes as I rose to my feet. I fisted my hands, opening my eyes to the most bewildered look I’d ever seen on Loki’s face.

My hair was disheveled around my shoulders, the early morning sun illuminating every last strand. I turned my head into it, hearing an almost imperceptibly audible gasp from Loki, followed my shaky breathing.

Frigga shoved past Loki, pushing him back from the door.

“Resa!”

I flinched when I heard my name. Frigga rushed to me, cupping my face in her hands like was handling delicate China. Her eyes searched mine before she looked past me to all of the damage in the room.

“What happened?”

I met her concerned gaze, only getting out a quiet, “I’m sorry.”

I felt my knees give out in what felt like slow-motion, the words around me garbled, my sight starting to blur. As I closed my eyes to the heavy darkness, I realized with a smile on my face, I couldn’t hear Loki.

Sweet relief.

“Why do you hate me?” My voice both whispered and thundered in the void. Loki spun around, looking like I’d slapped him, the dark edges of the dream around his back.

“How did you get in here?”

The words came out of him on a breath, his eyes wide as his lips moved to find the words. He looked down, closed his eyes and repainted the suave facade.

“I want answers, Loki. Why do you hate me?”

“Look at you…so determined. It’s giving me chills.”

I tightened my hands into fists, feeling my nails bite into my palms. I had thought about taking the weepy woman route, but I knew how well that would go over.

“Cut the shit, Loki.”

He walked over, taking strands of my hair in between his fingers.

“I don’t hate you. I loathe you. It’s your resilience, your determination to get back up after everything I’ve thrown at you. The way you have everyone wrapped around you. The crown jewel, the princess, the god-”

“I never wanted the fucking title!” I yelled, snatching myself back from his grasp.

“At first it was a game so I could break down your defenses, fuck you and leave you as I am wont to do. Then it started to develop into the need, the urge, the want to destroy you internally. To bring you so far down you would know your place and wouldn’t put those pitying, superior eyes on me again.”

The darkness around us frosted. The air was dangerous…he was dangerous. He started at me, his resolve breaking, eyes lined thinly with tears. My eyes widened as I realized he didn’t hate me. Not entirely. He hated everything around him and I was a convenient sieve. He may not have been able to make anyone listen, but if he could take someone else with him, he would take it.

“Say something!” He yelled in desperation. What he had said disturbed me. So much anger, so much hate. Believe you me, I’d wanted to run, but something kept me rooted to the spot, albeit at a loss for words.

As I felt the dream start to fade, I steadied myself.

“So you hate me so you don’t hate yourself. I can see right through that shitty mask of yours. You got the shitty end of the deal. No one’s denying that. You can hate me for having the attention of your parents, Thor and everyone else. I didn’t ask for this. This is how things turned out and I’m trying to make the best of it.”

The daggar embedded into the ice inches from my head before I saw it coming. Loki was nose to nose with me, his breath haggared from anger, like he was trying to hold himself from ripping me apart. I stared into his eyes defiantly before turning my head in dismissal as I had seen Odin do before.

His anger immediately evaporated, a sob wrenching from his throat as the edges of the dream faded.

“No, wait! Please!”

His distraught voice tried to hold onto the edges, to call me back. A single tear dropped down my cheek as I slept. My heart feeling broken, mumbling in my sleep, “I’m sorry, Loki.” Truth be told, I didn’t know if that tear was mine…or his…

A loud smack rang through the corridors of my mind, stirring me back to consciousness, the last echoes making its way around the walls of the room. I turned my head slightly in the direction of the sound to see Loki through blurred vision, holding his cheek, eyes wide in shock. Frigga stood across from him, hands fisted at her sides. As my vision cleared, I could see she was fuming, yet on the verge of tears.

In that instant in full clarity, I didn’t see Loki as he was. I saw him as a scared little boy whose mother had just punished him for the first time.

He looked to me before he left the room and I couldn’t help the pang of pity and guilt that crept through me as my heart fell into my stomach.

Frigga held strong and looked to me after he left, seeing that I had come to.

“Resa!”

She covered me with a hug, my arm wrapped around her shoulders.

“Are you alright?” She asked, pulling away to kneel next to me.

“Other than feeling like I was hit by a truck, I think so.”

She smiled then, tears lining the bottoms of her eyes.

“I am so sorry, Allmother. I do not know what came over me.’

She didn’t say anything as she helped me stand up, Thor barreling into the room and practically running towards me.

“There she is!” He grabeed me in a big hug, squeezing me.

“Thor, please be gentle!” The Allmother admonished after I made a sound of gasping for breath.

He let me go, scratching the back of his head nervously as I doubled over trying to get some air back into my lungs.

“It’s good to see you too, Thor.” I said on a breath with a slight chuckle.

He smiled at me, nodding in my direction.

“Come. The Allfather wishes to speak with you.” Frigga said, taking my hand.

I was so nervous as the doors to the throne room opened. I felt 2 inches tall as Frigga walked me to the edge of the stairs where Odin sat on his throne, staring down at us. I bowed to him as I always did, however, this time, I felt like I was pleading for my life.

“Resa…” Came the booming voice, the sound of his cane hitting each golden step as he made his way down.

“Rise, child.”

I did as he asked, coming face to face with him. The silence was defeaning. I knew better then to speak out of turn, but every fiber in my being wanted to plead my case. I probably didn’t need to because he more than likely already knew, but I would feel better if the words were told out loud so that I knew that he knew the truth. Ever the bleeding heart, I was planning to leave Loki’s performance out. I took a deep breath, ready to begin.

“Allfather, I-”

“It’s a welcome change to have you back with us.”

“Thank you Allfather. It is a pleasure to be back. I’m honored by your concern.”

“It would seem as though you are in need of respite.”  
“That’s not necessary. I am fully capable of performing my duties.”

“You leave for Earth on the morrow. I have had one of my ambassadors set you up at Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland. You will be studying Art and Mythology. Much has been cast your way in such a short while.”

“You’re very kind, Allfather. Thank you.”

“Heimdall will call for you when you are ready.”

I bowed to him and left the throne room. On the way back, I passed by Loki’s chambers.

 

He was laying on his bed, throwing a cup into the air and catching it, his brows fixed in a thoughtful expression. Sometimes I hated being so empathetic. I felt bad for Loki. Because I couldn’t hold it together, I’d gotten him in trouble with the Allmother and father.

I was so lost in though as I entered my room that I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw a figure out of the corner of my eye. I turned to see Loki sitting in a chair near the fireplace. My nerves were alight with adrenaline, anger amassing on its heels. I didn’t like being scared.

“Ugh Loki! Don’t you take a h-”

My words seized in my throat as I got a good look at him. His upper body was leaning against the wall, his elbow resting on the inlet in the wall, his head supported by his fist, a solemn look on his face.

I looked to what he was staring down at it. He was holding the painting of my mother. I saw him look up from the painting, eyes transfixed on something at the base of the embers. He sat the canvas down gently, leaning out of the chair to reach for what had grabbed his attention. The piece of paper he held had been charred around the edges. I saw him swallowing as if trying to hold it together.

“Why did you destroy your drawings?”

He looked from the piece of paper to me slowly. I leaned against the base board of my bed, gripping the wood tightly, keeping my head down. I didn’t know how to answer him so I countered with a question of my own.

“Why did the Allmother slap you?”

I heard a sigh, followed by the sound of the paper hitting the floor.

I kept my head down, until I saw him out of the corner of my eye, walking to the door.

“Loki, I-”

He stopped, his hand poised around the door knob, before it fell to his side dejectedly. He turned to face me, a look I couldn’t decipher on his face.

“I’m sorry.”

He looked to the floor, his shoulders moving in a scoffing laugh before walking out the door. I slid down the edge of my bed, leaning into the wood behind my head, trying to fight the tears creeping into my vision. I swore to myself that no matter what he did to me, he would not make me cry. Not directly. I allowed myself to believe that the reason I’d broken down before was because I’d looked at my mother’s painting. Now, there was nothing to blame. I really was sorry. Sorry Loki was smacked. Sorry that Frigga had gotten to the point of smacking him. Sorry that I had ever started drawing. Sorry for everything and anything I couldn’t control.

Maybe Odin was right. Maybe I did need a break…


	5. Chapter 5

It had been 3 months to the day since I left Asgard. I loved being in Dublin, experiencing the culture and craic was a refreshing change. Didn’t love the pollution though. I was starting to miss home if I was really honest with myself. I missed the quiet, I missed the scenery. Frigga had come by every so often to check on me, via holograph of course.I worked up the courage to ask her how Loki was doing one of her most recent visits. She bore a sad smile, giving me a cryptic answer.

“We miss you…Asgard misses you.”

She made me promise that I would come home for winter break. I readily told her, “Absolutely.”

It had been 3 months, during which time I had not heard a single peep out of Loki. I often wondered what he was doing, how he was doing. If he noticed I was gone.

Some days, I wanted to leave and go back, but my wolf puppy (at least I thought he was), Max, had seen me through. I didn’t know where he’d come from. The only logical place would be Asgard, but I was perplexed on how he’d sneaked into my bag and had gotten by Heimdall and Odin undetected. Imagine my surprise when the small, black, living puff ball tumbled out of my bag when I’d gotten to my dorm in Dublin.

He was curled up at my feet, breathing light and even with sleep. I leaned back on my bed, arm resting beneath my head. I felt the bed shake as he stirred, then the mattress dipping as he made his way over to me, looking me straight in the eyes. He had the most captivating eyes I’d ever seen a dog have, a most brilliant blue-green that I felt like I could get lost in. He silently looked away, curling up again in the crook of my armpit. I smiled as I pet his head.

“What would I do without you?”

I felt like a train wreck the next day having had difficult sleeping the night before. Mid-terms were coming up so that was part of it. I’d dreamt of Loki, something I hadn’t in a while. I couldn’t remember the context of the dream had been, but he offered a heavy pressure on my mind.

I had trouble focusing in my Shakespeare class, subtly moving my finger to draw shapes in the air, my elbow in the crease of the open book, my hand propping up my head under my chin. I looked down at my book after a while, the words seeming to buzz on the page, zoning me out with it. A collective gasp fell over the class, one that didn’t register with me. I suddenly felt rapid haphazard stings on my arm, turning to see it was my friend Kay.

“Kay, what-”

She grabbed my arm tightly, her eyes bug-wide on the door.

“Oh my God, that’s Tom Hiddleston!”

The air filling my lungs froze as I looked towards the door. Sure enough, there he was. I could see him in the corridor speaking with the professor who I could tell was just falling all over herself as she spoke. I was instantly suspicious as I remembered Loki bragging about parading on Earth as Tom Hiddleston one day. It was one of his favorite disguises, I think he’d said.

My heart hammered in my chest as I tried to rationalize that maybe it really was Tom Hiddleston. Yes. He had just happened by Trinity College to walk into a Shakespeare class on his day off. It was a far-flung theory that was instantly squashed when he turned his face and smiled a wolfish grin in my direction.

 

No question it was Loki. I slid down in my seat as far as I could go when I heard him in my head. You can run but you can’t hide. “Tom” leaned against the wall of the corridor, almost out of sight.

“Astrid, there is someone here to see you.” My professor called, her Irish accent thick with elation.

As one, the class turned to look at me incredulously. I sat up in my chair, gathering my things when Kay spun me to face her, hands on my shoulders.

“You know Tom Hiddleston?!”

I let out a physical groan, my head and eyes rolling. Bastard.

“Yes. He’s..” I had to think of a believable relation quick.

“My brother.”

Kay looked from the corridor to me than back to the sliver of “Tom” that she could see.

“Oh, honey. I think I’d have to fuck my brother.”

I playfully shoved her off, laughing out the word, “Eww.” I walked down the stairs of the raised seating on light feet, trying to ignore the dozens of eyes staring at me. I met “Tom” in the corridor, him nodding slightly to the professor, who looked like that was enough to make her wilt.

Once we were out of eye and ear shot, I shoved him into a wall.

“What the hell are you doing here?!”

He had that cheeky, shit-eating grin on his face that made me want to slap him.

As I moved towards him, he grabbed my arms in his hands, replacing his position against the wall with me, pressing into my back. He held my arms behind my back, the other had fisted in my hair, exposing my neck.

He peppered light feathering kisses up and down the column of my throat, making it hard to get him off. I was so tired of struggling with this tumultuous relationship with him. If I let Loki take me, at least I’d get a good stress relief out of it.

The second my body relaxed and stopped fighting him, he let go. I felt the warmth leave my back, turning around the see him looking down at the floor.

“What is it?”

“I will not take you as you are now. You would just be using it as a means to an end.”

He fisted his hands, but it felt like he was squeezing my heart. Here I was ready to give myself to him, and this is how he was going to be?

“You’re kidding right? I finally open myself up to this and now you’re saying you can’t?”

He shook his head slightly.

“Your heart wouldn’t be in it. You would be using it as an escape. You don’t really want me.”

“Since when is heart a requirement to have casual sex?”

What had happened to him? As I searched his eyes, his jaw clenched, then he reached forward, pulling me towards him with a hand behind my neck, placing a kiss on my head before walking away. I watched him, unable to breathe. I didn’t know where to break down and cry or start punching walls. What the hell was that about?

Kay found me as I was walking towards the gym, kicking me out of my stupor

“Hey! Where’s your brother? I need an up close and personal encounter. By the way, you don’t mind if I climb him like a tree do you?”

I laughed half-heartedly.

“I’m serious! Hook a girl up!”

I laughed again, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear, my eyes on the floor. I looked up to see an outstretched arm right in front of my face. I stopped, my eyes rolling up to the ceiling before they turned to see Rolan blocking my side of the corridor that lead to the gym. The guy hadn’t stopped trying to get with me since shortly after the semester had started. He wore the same smug, God’s-gift-to-women smile he always had plastered on his face.

“Hi, Rolan.”

“Hey, gorgeous. What are you doing tonight?”

Kay turned around then.

“Come on, Astrid. We’re going to be late.”

“Excuse. I’m late for something.”

“Late for a date on my face.”

He did that obnoxious move where every time I moved, he would move in that direction. Finally, I ducked under his arm, not knowing that Loki lingered in the darkness of the corridor watching the whole thing. Rolan chuckled with his crew, prompting me to walk a little bit faster.

“He’s such a pig.” Kay said, turning to look back to flip him off, stopping when she saw “Tom”. “Ooh look! It’s your brother!”

“Ooh. Somebody pinch me.”

“What, is something wrong between you two?”

“It’s...complicated…”

While Kay stood and gawked, I leaned again the metal bleachers that were out, foot resting against them as I studied my nails. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that “Tom” had stopped next to them, hands in his pockets, watching after me.

“Man, what I wouldn’t give to have that sit on my face. Face fuck her till he throat’s raw. Know what I’m saying’ man?” Rolan said, elbowing “Tom’s” arm. I shuddered with revulsion as bile rose in my throat. I recovered just in time to hear the sound of a body slamming against the padded wall lining of the gym, the acoustics of the gym working to amplify the sound into a deafening echo. :Tom”, in an instant, had grabbed him by the neck and threw him into the wall. Rolan’s feet were oft the floor with “Tom” right in his face.

“L-Tom!!”

I corrected myself before I could slip. His voice echoed in my head as he slightly turned his face to look at me, a look of rage and fury so intense it would haunt me.

“Give me one good reason…”

I shook my head minutely as I saw the facade was starting to fade and Loki appeared.

“He’s not worth it.”

“Tom” turned back to look at Rolan, giving his throat a tighter squeeze as a warning before dropping him to the floor ass first. He turned to look at me, the rage and fury still very present, but his disguise still intact, walking towards and past us.

“Holy shit.” Kay whispered.

“Let’s go.” I said, grabbing her jacket sleeve.

I felt uneasy the rest of the day. Rolan was not the type of guy you would humiliate and expect to go quietly. Kay had gone home early before my last class finished so I was alone walking back to the dorms.

My uneasiness grew every step I stook, straining my ears for anything out of the ordinary. A figure moved to my left, getting closer until a hand on my wrist stopped me and thew me into the brick wall of the school. Rolan splayed his hands on either side of my head, my wrists locked into them, leaning in close to my face.

“That guy isn’t here to protect you. What are you doing to do about it?” His alcohol laced breath touched my nose, scrunching it up in disgust as he pressed against me. Turning my head away from his tongue licking my neck, I saw Max running down the sidewalk

“Me? Nothing. But Max might.”

“Who the fuck is Max?”

Rolan saw what I was looking at it and stepped back, looking at the lumbering puppy running down the sidewalk.

In the blink of an eye, Max went from a tiny puff ball to a full grown, pissed off wolf. My mouth parted slightly, blinking multiple times to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. I pointed to the wolf running towards us, looking at him smugly.

“That is Max.”

Max was between me and Rolan in a second, hair raised, teeth bared and growling.

Rolan pissed himself, tripping over his own two feet trying to get away from the killing machine in front of him. Max stepped out a few feet, making sure Rolan kept running every time he looked back. When he was out of sight, Max calmed down, turning to me panting and wagging his tail. I got down on my knees and hugged him, scrunching his face as he licked me..

“Who’s a good boy! You are! Yes you are! I don’t know how you did that but you were here in the nick of time. Not sure how he would’ve felt getting his ass beat by a goddess. Come on. Let’s go to bed.”

Max refused to sleep anywhere but on me. I finally gave up trying to move him and fell back on my pillow, replaying earlier that day over and over in my head. As I dozed off petting Max, his weight started to change, growing heavier. Through my sleepy haze, the coarse fur became soft black curls. When I felt arms tightening beneath my back, I panicked.

I flailed, pushing whatever or whoever was on me off, hearing a large body hit the floor. I heard growing as incandescent wolf eyes looked at me from bed level. The eyes softened just as suddenly as a figure emerged from the disappearing wolf.

I stood there horrified and flabbergasted watching, finally finding my voice when the transformation was complete.

“Oh my God, it was you?!”


	6. Chapter 6

“Loki?!” My shrill voice rang the lights in the room.

He was slightly bent over at the waist, hands in the air.

“Surprise!” He said as a nervous smile crossed his face.

My hands flew to my forehead, my thumbs resting on my cheekbones.

“The whole time? The whole time! THE WHOLE TIME?!” I growled out, feeling like Sally Fields in Mrs. Doubtfire.

“Resa, let me explain.”

“Oh, this should be good. Please enthrall us with your tale.” I said theatrically.

He went around the bed, reaching out to grab my wrist.

“I’ll explain everything on the way back to Asgard. You are coming back with me.”

I yanked my wrist out of his hand.

“Ex-squeeze me? I am going nowhere!”

Loki was bewildered at my variation of excuse me.

“You shouldn’t be alone here. It’s not safe. You clearly can’t handle yourself.”

I clenched my jaw tightly. “I’m touched. Right up until that last part.”

In the blink of an eye, I’d thrown two daggers at him, Loki of course catching both of them between his fingers, giving me that, “Bitch, please” look.

In the span of a breath, I watched his fingers as inconspicuously as I could, waiting for the opportune moment for his fingers to part.

“You’ve gotten slow.”

He hiked his eyebrow up at me only to have both of his eyebrows threaten to leave his face a split second later. He looked disbelieving down at the dagger sticking out of his left shoulder. I wore a smirk as my body was still bent slightly from the throw. Straightening, I crossed my arms across my chest, my right eyebrow hiked up in a smug display with a smile to match.

I kicked my head up, the same smug smile splayed on my face as he opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.

“Are we done here?”

I watched as he pulled the dagger out of his shoulder, letting it fall to the floor before stomping on it when it bounced, the dagger twirling in the air back into his hand.

“Ooo, fancy.” I said with a bored attitude.

I turned my back to him, the almost inaudible sound of metal spinning in the air catching my ears.

I spun back around, knocking the three daggers flying at my face away when Loki appeared behind its approach, daggers drawn. I quickly drew two more, crossing them in an X in front of me as Loki brought his down. He leaned in close to my face, eyes wild in excitement.

I looked in horror at his changing features. His eyes were glazing over to a piercing black, his perfect white canines elongating into perfect sharp point, his mouth and nose scrunching up into a wolf-like snout, complete with bared teeth.

Just as quickly as it had appeared, his wolfen features were gone. I blinked a few times to make sure I was seeing things straight. He took advantage of my stunned state to get me across the cheek with his blade.

“Oh, you cheating bitch!” I yelled.

He stepped back triumphantly as I placed a hand across my cheek, blood gracing the digits as I brought it back to look.

“I win.”

“Like hell you did!” I said, pissed off as the wound rapidly closed. When I looked back up, he was gone and in his place was the black puppy that had first sprawled out of my backpack.

“Come now…you wouldn’t hurt a puppy would you?”

“Stop hiding, you coward.”

Even though I knew it was him, I couldn’t bring myself to harm his present form.

“Fine, asshole. You win.” I spat, throwing my daggers into the floor. “Gods, you’re such a dick!” I pouted, kicking the bed.

The puppy cocked his head quizzically.

“Fuck off, Loki.”

His green seidr filled the room, signaling his change back to his Asgardian form.

“You know what you are? You’re that kid who bullies everyone at school than goes home and cries about how he has no friends.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his hand flinch back at my biting words. My heart hurt. Why did my heart hurt? I needed air.

“When I get back, you’d better be gone.”

He’d tried to talk to me while I’d been out, but I threw up the wall, this time sealing every micro space he could seep through, enjoying the solid silence.

Three hours later, I walked back into my dorm room, stopping at the door, mouth agape.

“Oh, sweet Jesus.” I said quietly, spurring him from his thoughts. He had on black jeans and a hoodie, his black hair spilling over his shoulders as he looked up. I swallowed to soothe the sudden dryness in my mouth. Coughing curtly, as the hoity toity do, I strolled in to the room, leaning my shoulder against the door after I shut it, arms crossed across my chest.

“I thought I told you to leave?”

He stood up, his hands out in front of him.

“I must…apologize for my actions.”

I nearly fell over, but I maintained my “no bullshit” facade. I closed my eyes, mulling over words in my head to say.  
“Why did you come here? And don’t say to protect me because I know that is a crock of shit.”

Before he would speak, I dropped my shoulder from the door, letting my arms dangle freely.

“By the nine, I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out. Only one person on Asgard could sneak out without Heimdall knowing. I am such an idiot! Where do Odin, Frigga and Thor think you are?! And what about the poor bastard who’s skin you’re parading around in? He’s going to be hit with such a PR shitstorm, he won’t see it coming!”

“I’ve taken care of that. Now if you’d-”

“No. I’m not done.”

He folded his arms in front of him, patiently waiting out my ranting.

“Just…what the fuck? What the actual fuck?”

I sat down, head in my hands. He still stood quietly.

“Why a puppy?” I asked quietly.

I heard a sigh then, “It was the only way I knew you’d stomach me being near you.”

I lifted my head to look at him, my heart seizing.

A knock at the door startled me, sending Loki into defense mode, drawing his daggers.

“Calm down, killer.”

I peeked through the peephole to see it was the R.A.

“What the hell is he doing here so late?” I asked myself quietly. I cracked the door just enough to fit my head, feeling Loki at my side.

“Hi, Zack, what’s up?”

“Listen, I know it’s late and I hate to bother you but Rolan came to me in hysterics about a black wolf chasing him off campus and said it was yours? Just a reminder that we don’t allow pets on campus.”

I heard Loki sniggering next to me. It earned him a well-placed elbow in the stomach.

“Did he now? Well he may have had one too many and was seeing things. Did he happen to mention if this black wolf chased him off campus before or after he tried to sexually assault me?”

Zack stammered. “Uh…no he did not.”

I brought my lips up in an “I don’t know” kind of expression, making a sucking noise with my lips.

“Always the critical detail that get left out.”

“Wait, so was there a wolf or-”

“Zack, come on. There are no wolves in the city.”

“Right. Okay. Sorry to bother you again. Goodnight.”  
“Goodnight, Zack.”

I shut the door to see Loki had one of his daggers held against the door. I pushed his hand down.

“Really?” I walked away, shaking my head.

“Just a precautionary measure.”

“Honey, he would be stupider than I thought he was if we even tried. Plus now he’ll have hell to pay for that little bit of information I slipped to the R.A.”

I yawned, stretching. “I need to go to bed so you, make like a banana and split. You’re not staying here.”

He was back in puppy form, giving me puppy eyes.

“Loki, just go. It’s 1 in the morning. I’m too tired for this shit.”

I took another look before giving up the fight.

“Fine. You can stay tonight, but you’re going back to Asgard in the morning.”

He perked up, wagging his tail, jumping onto my chest when I laid down.

“Oh no you don’t. End of the bed. Don’t think I’m not still mad at you because you’re a cute puppy.”

As I lay there drifting off, I cast a few glances down the bed to see his front legs stretched out and when I would look away, I would feel the bed move as he inched forward. His head was eventually on my stomach after sneaking forward a few times.

“Goddammit, Loki.” I said, exhausted.

I had no energy left to fight with him. I brought my hand up and haphazardly ruffled his head, which caused him to lick me. I felt him move his head a few times as he tried to get comfortable, my arm draping over his back as I fell asleep.

I slept soundly, but felt like a truck hit me the next morning. I searched my room through groggy eyes, the warmth of the puppy gone, making me feel cold. I didn’t see any sign of Loki or “Max”, internally scolding myself for actually feeling disappointed that he may have listened and left.

I ran a hand through my messy hair, stumbling through the room. Yawning harshly, I prepped the coffee machine so when I got out of the shower, it would be ready.

The hot water felt good on my tired skin, my thoughts drifting to last night as I tried to make some sense through my awakening haze. I still didn’t, couldn’t, would believe it that he’d been right here with me for three months and I didn’t even know. His answer to my question about why a puppy still puzzled me. Why would he want to be near me? Was Asgard so boring that he had to come torture me on Earth?

I went straight to the coffee machine after my shower, taking that “first, perfect, life-affirming sip” to quote Christopher Titus as reveled as the warmth slid down my throat.

It was when I went to take the second sip that I saw him. My eyes nearly bugged out of my head, nearly choking on my coffee. My mouth feel open as I quietly stared at his tall form. His black hair falling sinuously over his shoulder, every beautiful, flawless inch of him covered in a black suit. I heard the smile in his voice even though he was turned away from me.  
“You’re staring again.”

My cheeks flared up at being caught, making it worse when he looked over his shoulder and gave me a cheeky smile. He turned then, fixing the buttons at his wrists.

“So I guess this is a bad time to tell you that I got a position as Assistant Professor.”

I brought my hand up to slap my forehead, pushing my head back so the column of my throat was exposed, groaning loudly. He was here to stay and there was nothing I could do about it.

“Gods, you’re a nightmare.”

He smirked mischievously. “I like to think of it more as a wet daydream.”

“You would.” I said as I walked towards him, throwing my towel in his face.

He chuckled as he pulled the towel from around his shoulder. “So, you’re brother, huh?”

“Don’t make it weird. I had to think of something believable. You said you took care of the P.R. situation? Are you going as yourself or Tom.

“Myself.”

“Damn. I assume you have your own dorm?”

“Yes, why?”

When I didn’t answer, he pouted.

“And here I thought you liked our…togetherness.”

I gathered my backpack and laptop and made towards the door.

“Watch out for Kay. She wants to climb you like a tree. Well, she wanted to climb Tom like a tree but I’m sure this is much better.”

“Reese…”

There it was. The sound I’d wanted to hear for three months, even though I told myself otherwise. It stopped me cold. What the hell was wrong with me? I stayed still, hair covering my eyes as I looked down, trying not to flinch when I felt his head lean into the middle of my back. I let him turn me to face him, cupping my face in his hands, gently lifting it to face him. I tried to hold my eyes closed, surprised to feel tears welling in them. I opened my eyes just as Loki was leaning in, closing them again when his lips lightly touched mine.

I’d denied letting myself thinking and trying not to care about him for so long. Tried to tell myself I didn’t care. There was nothing holding it back anymore or rather frankly, I couldn’t hold it back anymore. Tthe flood gates burst open and I didn’t know where he ended and I began.

**Author's Note:**

> When I get the chance to continue this, it will eventually having mature/explicit content.
> 
> Let me know what you think :).


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